Couples Therapy in Bochum
The same argument has been running for years – only the spark keeps changing. In couples therapy we look together at the pattern underneath, and at what can realistically shift.
- More than 20 years of experience
- Schema-based couples work
- Practice in Bochum and online
- Sessions in English
About me
Birgit Baumann
I am a Heilpraktikerin für Psychotherapie – a state-licensed practitioner for psychotherapy in Germany – and I have accompanied individuals and couples in Bochum for more than twenty years. Schema therapy shapes my work: it explains why we sometimes react in relationships as though we were fifteen again, and how that can change.
This might feel familiar
When talks always tilt at the same point
Most couples who find their way to me have already tried for a long time on their own. Not because they were unwilling, but because asking for help can feel out of place while things still look as if they are working.
- You quarrel over small things, and you both know it is about something else.
- One of you looks for the conversation, the other pulls back – and both of you are left feeling alone.
- You have grown polite with one another. It is quieter, yet something is missing.
- Each conflict ends in making up, but nothing really changes.
- You ask yourselves whether this will be enough for the next twenty years.
Seeing yourself in one of these sentences does not mean something is broken. It means a pattern is running that is very hard to notice from inside the relationship.
The way I work
How does couples therapy with me take shape?
We begin with a free initial consultation in which you get to know me and set out your situation. Over the next two or three sessions we name the pattern that is at work between you. From there we work on shifting that pattern in daily life, at your own pace.
Settling in and understanding
In the initial consultation you both describe how you see the situation. I listen, ask questions, and tell you plainly whether I am the right person to accompany you.
Bringing the pattern into view
We look at the sequence that keeps repeating: what sets it off, which early experiences feed into it, who takes which role. What comes into view can be changed.
Practising in everyday life
You take concrete steps home with you, and we review together what holds. Change happens between sessions, not inside them.
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- 01CommunicationThere is plenty of talking, yet little gets through. It is rarely the words themselves – it is what runs underneath them.
- 02Constant arguingThe trigger changes, the sequence stays the same. Once you know the sequence, you can step out of it at a different point.
- 03Trust & betrayalSome hurts remain even though they have long been talked through. Trust is rebuilt through experiences, not explanations.
- 04Closeness & distanceOne of you needs more closeness, the other more space. Both are legitimate – and both escalate each other.
- 05ADHD in relationshipsForgotten agreements, different speeds, the feeling of constantly having to remind. With the right understanding, this becomes a solvable topic.
- 06Stay or leaveThe question has been in the room for months and is not getting smaller. Clarity is possible in both directions.
- 07Blended familiesTwo family histories, different rules, loyalties pulling in several directions. Good will alone is not enough.
- 08Dual-career couplesTwo demanding careers, one shared calendar. The relationship gets what is left over – and that is rarely enough.
What couples often want to know first
Yes. The initial consultation is free and without obligation. You get to know me, set out your situation, and then decide in your own time whether you would like to continue.
The next available appointment is visible directly in the online booking.
Then you begin on your own. You can work on your own part in the dynamic, and that alone may already shift things noticeably.
Yes. Sessions can take place in English, in the practice in Bochum or online. If English is the language you think and quarrel in, it is usually the better choice.
No. My focus is the relational dynamic between the two of you. For questions of sex therapy I will gladly point you to specialised colleagues.
Yes. Online sessions work well if you travel a great deal for work or do not live in Bochum. All you need is a quiet room and a stable connection.
Practice and how to get there
The practice is in Bochum. If you are coming from Herne, Witten, Essen or Dortmund, you will be there within a few minutes.
If you live further away: couples therapy is also available online.
The next step
Get to know me without any commitment
In the free initial consultation we clarify what is going on for you and whether working together feels like a fit.